Believe

I BELIEVE God has a plan, even when we don't understand.  It was mid-August 2008, and I had just returned from a summer with my family.  Teaching gave me the privilege of traveling home every summer and spending the days with my family.  That summer had been hard, yet very evidently showcased the provision of God.  I was between jobs, and really trying to decide where He wanted me to be.  Just as I thought that moving home to New York  was my solution, I received a job offer back in Virginia.  I was happy to have a job, yet there had been a great amount of excitement to thinking that it might be time to live back home.  A few weeks before heading back to Virginia, I had to put my sweet little cat to sleep.  As a lover of animals, she was more than just my cat, she was a friend to me, a comfort.  Losing her was very sad, and then leaving my family to return to Virginia was always a hard thing.


I found the sudden "alone time" overwhelming every year, yet this year it was the hardest, as I would come home to a truly empty house.   I loved my new job, I was very happy to be back with my family in Virginia and my friends, yet there was emptiness.


At times, I couldn't quite understand what God's plan was for me.  I couldn't see why being back in Virginia, was truly a better option than starting life over in NY.  He had provided a job, and my life was full there, yet I still longed for NY.  And in the midst of this, I missed my sweet little cat.


Thankfully, the idea to get a new cat, didn't take too long to come along.  I went to Petsmart, and well, she picked me.  I went into the cages to hold a cat that looked like a fit for me, but didn't bond at all with that little furball.  Another gray, kind of ugly, tiger cat was literal climbing her cage, and "meeowwing" her head off to get my attention.  I asked to hold her, because she was so desparate for me to see her.  She instantly curled up in my arms, began to purr, and I knew that she was going home with me.


I named her Believe, because she was a reminder of that promise I was clinging to- I believe that God has a plan, even when we don't understand.    As I adjusted to my new job and fit back into my life in Virginia, I found great comfort and happiness from my little Believe.


She has been gone for 5 days now, and we are pretty sure that she is not going to be coming back to us.  Hours of looking, inquiring of many neighbors, and praying for her safe return have not lead her back to our home.  She was a gift in my life, when I needed her the most. She was a constant reminder of God's sovreign plan in our lives.


How can I question even now with her gone, that I BELIEVE God has a plan, even when we don't understand.